"l never knew that I had to learn about myself"

My dear friend Joann just "flew" in for one of our late afternoon visits. She pops in for about 30 minutes, and we cover more topics than Hannity and Combs on primetime television. Joann is exactly double my age, but in our beliefs we are far closer than the gap in our age could ever offer. Joann and I have tender hearts that are very affected by the state of our world. We share this, and are able to talk to each other as two kindred spirits are able to. What I love about Joann is that she is always able to offer me advice that comes from life expierience, and a similiar heart as mine. Today I shared with her that "I never knew that I had to learn about myself." She said that sentence should be the title of a book, and I agree with her. That sentence is true, so true. I never knew that we have to get to know who we are as people. I feel like an artichoke, and with every layer that I'm "willing" to peel away, I get closer to understanding who I am, and what charges me. The "willing to peel away" is the part that often mixes us up as women. We're so scared to really get to know ourselves, even if we don't think we are, that often we just keep getting caught up in our day to day lives, and end up living for others, instead of living for our hearts.

Eckert Tolle talks about our emotions, and how to get to the core of them. I want to share what I learned from him. Whenever you're feeling an overwhelming emotion such as anger, pay close attention to your physical reaction. Paying attention to how something is physically making you feel, will help stop your ego from taking you on a wild painful ride. When we're expieriencing a strong emotion, our ego will keep feeding our brain with images that overwhelm us, but if we center and pay attention to how we're physically feeling, it can stop the ego dead in its track. I've been practicing this and adding a 3rd component. I tell God how I'm physically reacting, and that keeps me even more centered. When we learn how something physically affects us, we are better able to tune into why things bother us, and we gain an awareness about how an emotional situation really affects us. This process has had a profound impact on my life in just a few short weeks.

I have used this with countless patients that I work with and they too have expierienced some liberation from their own pain. My best example of my own personal painful issue, is that a few weeks ago I was on my way to someones house, and I didn't want to go. My mind (ego)was racing with all the reasons why I didn't want to go. I then stopped, and made myself identify my physical reaction to this painful situation. I felt the following; my stomach hurt, my head hurt, my stomach felt nauseous, and my throat felt alittle tight. I stayed the course the entire way to the house and continued identifying my physical reaction to this painful situation. My mind stopped racing becuase the EGO couldn't feed it anymore. I still have alot to work through, but I'm taking this step towards getting to know myself, and having more stillness in my life.