Some Funny photos

Wahooooo.....christmas is fun!

Crisis Nursery

Todays paper featured a wonderful new organization in Rochester, and I'm going to look into volunteering there. Its called the Rochester Crisis Nursery, and is a Nursery where children can safely live when their parents are expieriencing a self defined crisis. It can be anything from a single parents babysitting crisis, to a death in the family. They won't turn away anyone who is expieriencing a crisis and is in need of childcare. Since Olivia's birth my heart has been heavy for single parents, and I often wonder how they manage, especially when life happens. Check out their website

www.cngr.org

"l never knew that I had to learn about myself"

My dear friend Joann just "flew" in for one of our late afternoon visits. She pops in for about 30 minutes, and we cover more topics than Hannity and Combs on primetime television. Joann is exactly double my age, but in our beliefs we are far closer than the gap in our age could ever offer. Joann and I have tender hearts that are very affected by the state of our world. We share this, and are able to talk to each other as two kindred spirits are able to. What I love about Joann is that she is always able to offer me advice that comes from life expierience, and a similiar heart as mine. Today I shared with her that "I never knew that I had to learn about myself." She said that sentence should be the title of a book, and I agree with her. That sentence is true, so true. I never knew that we have to get to know who we are as people. I feel like an artichoke, and with every layer that I'm "willing" to peel away, I get closer to understanding who I am, and what charges me. The "willing to peel away" is the part that often mixes us up as women. We're so scared to really get to know ourselves, even if we don't think we are, that often we just keep getting caught up in our day to day lives, and end up living for others, instead of living for our hearts.

Eckert Tolle talks about our emotions, and how to get to the core of them. I want to share what I learned from him. Whenever you're feeling an overwhelming emotion such as anger, pay close attention to your physical reaction. Paying attention to how something is physically making you feel, will help stop your ego from taking you on a wild painful ride. When we're expieriencing a strong emotion, our ego will keep feeding our brain with images that overwhelm us, but if we center and pay attention to how we're physically feeling, it can stop the ego dead in its track. I've been practicing this and adding a 3rd component. I tell God how I'm physically reacting, and that keeps me even more centered. When we learn how something physically affects us, we are better able to tune into why things bother us, and we gain an awareness about how an emotional situation really affects us. This process has had a profound impact on my life in just a few short weeks.

I have used this with countless patients that I work with and they too have expierienced some liberation from their own pain. My best example of my own personal painful issue, is that a few weeks ago I was on my way to someones house, and I didn't want to go. My mind (ego)was racing with all the reasons why I didn't want to go. I then stopped, and made myself identify my physical reaction to this painful situation. I felt the following; my stomach hurt, my head hurt, my stomach felt nauseous, and my throat felt alittle tight. I stayed the course the entire way to the house and continued identifying my physical reaction to this painful situation. My mind stopped racing becuase the EGO couldn't feed it anymore. I still have alot to work through, but I'm taking this step towards getting to know myself, and having more stillness in my life.

ALL GONE!!

I have to blog this quick little cute story from tonite. We took Olivia to get her photos done. We even brought Grandma Z along for the fun. We had 3 outfit changes becaues I wanted to have her pic taken in her first birthday dress, christmas dress, and then this other casual dress that looks cute on her. Normally I would have never brought along 3 dresses, but the place said we had unlimited time so I thought "What the heck." Olivia can be a hard one to make smile, and of course tonite was no exception. Dave and I were running around the studio yelling "Boo" to her, which is the only thing that would crack her up. Grandma Z was singing "Jiggity Jig" and the photographer was waving some toy duck all over the place, all trying to get those perfect picture smiles. By the end of the session I felt like I had just spent the last hour at the Gym, and I had broken out into a full sweat trying to get lulu to smile. So we had the 3rd dress on, and the photographer got a fair amount of pictures from Lulu when all of the sudden Olivia sat down on the floor, layed back and yelled"All Gone!" When Olivia says "All Gone" she means "All done." She says it whenever shes done doing anything. All of us starting cracking up....she literally ended her own photo session. Then she got up and left the studio area and just started leaving, she was officially "All done." I have to put that in the baby book because I will never forget watching her do that...it was priceless!

Takin it to the streets

I took Olivia on her first neighborhood stroll today, without the stroller! Hip Hip Hooray! It was so fun to walk along side of her, and watch her explore the neighborhood by foot! She was ready for action today, and loved being able to visit the neighbors and neighborhood pets. I took the walker along with us, but she ditched it two houses away and started making a run for it. So we walked hand in hand, even though she didn't seem to excited about holding my hand. :)

We have a walker!

This weekend Olivia started walking! Its been so prescious to watch her toddle everywhere. I have to mark it in the blog so I know the actual day that it started. The day was Friday December 1st, she was 13 months old. I know I'll forget to write it down so thankfully we have these wonderful blog inventions. Its so exciting to see her explore her world in the upright position.

I also want to say a happy birthday shout out to our favorite 2 year old, Hannah Jane! Happy Birthday sweetie! I'll think of you at 10:45 pm, since your mom said thats the time you were born. We all had a blast at your party today. Livy was estatic to spend an afternoon with you, and we loved meeting some of your extended family. I was thanking Daybreak 2 all the way home for bringing you guys into our lives. Happy Birthday Hannah!!

December 6th, 1976

This Wednesday I will turn 30 years old! Yikes! I actually am feeling quite uneventful about the whole expierience. Oddly enough, it isn't feeling like the milestone that I thought it would be. Perhaps I'm so caught up the Christmas cheer this year that my birthday sort of feels like just another Christmas celebration. My dear friend Ashley called last night and grilled me about the birthday plans, and asking why I hadn't requested a huge party to celebrate this "monumental event" as she called it. I gave her all of the usual excuses, "we just bought the house, we just threw Olivia a huge party, we need so much for the house, parties are expensive, and the list went on." All of those things are very true, but the birthday isn't going uncelebrated. Dave and I have a few fun plans that I'm looking very forward to. On my actual birthday we're having dinner as a family, and eating "Pasta Olivia" which is now my favorite dish but its origins date back to my pregnancy. We named it Pasta Olivia because its the one dish that I always craved, and the only one that she would let me keep down. So we'll have dinner as a family that nite, and then on Thursday Dave and I may take in Handels Messiah at the RPO, which hasnt' been done in over 10 years by the RPO. I am dying to see this performance as I'm sure its going amazing. Then On Saturday Dave and I are heading off to Skaneatlas for a full day of fun planned by Dave. Its their annual Charles Dickens festival, and we're going to have lunch at a beautiful Inn that my mom sugggested. Last but not least, Jenn has invited us all over to her place on Sunday for some birthday fun! :) I'm really looking forward to spending time with her, Avery, and Keith. My sister will be also be in town Sunday to join us. So I have some really nice plans for my birthday, and they're all things that I'm looking forward too. Its all about spending quality time with the people I love, and ringing in the start of a new decade.

These boots were made for Walkin

Thanks to grandma Chop, Livy now has some snow boots! I can't wait to let her play in the snow. :)

Work Post

I rarely blog about my job, or go into much detail about it because people usually glaze over after I really start telling them what I do. As anyone who reads this blog knows, I work in a Cancer Center as a radiation oncology Social worker. People typically receive radiation everyday for 7 weeks, and I usually meet them during their first few days. I love hearing about their lives, how they spend their days, what hobbies they enjoy, what things they've accomplished, and how they're really handling their diagnosis. Many of them welcome me into their world, and keep me updated on how they're feeling, and the goings and comings of their life. Along with getting invited into their life, I often get to hear their biggest fears, or work through their biggest fears coming true with them. Each of my patients is living and walking with so much, and there are some days where patient after patient has a story that is sadder than the one before them. People have a hard time discussing and dealing with life and death. I say that people glaze over because the minute that I tell them that I am a Social Worker in a Cancer Center they look intrigued and want details. The minute I start describing what I do they just look blank for a moment. I think its becuase we all fear cancer and death, so my job requires that I deal with both of these things interchangeably, and all day long. My escape and breath of fresh air is talking to co-workers, or calling a friend for a few minutes to get my mind off an especially sad situation.

Today I had an especially sad situation. I have a 38 year old mother of 3 diagnosed with breast cancer. I thought her outcome sounded good and I try and see her at least once a week because I know that she is a mother, wife, employee, caregiver for her own mother, and has alot of emotional issues going on with her diagnosis. Today we were discussing her case and her doctor shared with me that her chances of seeing age 40 are slim to none. What ??? I was shocked. She has a 3 year old daughter, and two other school age children. I thought of all the implications of her death and I just felt so sad. Then a few minutes later she came in for treatment and seemed so happy because she had a great holiday, and at that moment I felt so heavy in my heart becuase I was holding something about her life that she wasn't aware of. She'll never know what the doctor told me, and she might defy the odds, but according to this doctor she has no shot at survival. She has a rare form of cancer and long story short, they have never seen someone survive 18 months passed the time of diagnosis with this type of cancer. I just kept thinking of her kids, and how they don't even know that they might all be on borrowed time together. I know that God will take care of them, but my sadness is probably a normal reaction to a difficult situation. My co-workers heard the statistic and just went on with their day, and I then reminded them that she has a 3 year old, plus two other children. One of my co-workers said "The show must go on." Geesh...hows that for compassion.

A day like today feels more emotionally challenging than others. I wouldn't trade what I do, but I wish that I could have more of an impact on people. I wish I knew of a technique they could do to increase their chances of survival. It is difficult at times to be the only Social Worker at the Center because there is no other co-worker to debfief with. Thankfully I recently got invited to be part of a larger network of Oncology Social Workers for bi-weekly meetings and support. I think this came at a good time for myself, as I can stay current on what is available to patients, and get the support that I need.

Homeopathy heals

I have to credit homeopathy for making Olivia better. I wasn't aware of the immediate healing powers of homeopathy, but my curiousity is definetly peaked now. This last week has been emotinally and physically draining because our poor daughter was suffering from a very nasty virus. It started last Thursday, and as of yesterday afternoon at 1pm, it was showing no signs of giving up. Olivia was running fevers up to 104, and had a sore throat. The virus was a sore throat virus called Pharingytis(sp), and our pediatrician said that Olivia probably had razor sharp pains in her throat 24/7, and there was almost nothing that could be done. No antibiotics can be given, and the only reccommendation was to give her tylenol and motrin.

Those of you who are parents know how heart wrenching it is to watch your child screaming in pain, and feel so helpless becuase there is nothing that you can do. Every nite we were calling the on-call pediatrician begging for a solution. They just kept reccommending cold popsicles and the tylenol. We just felt awful. We were laying hands in prayer over her, and asking God to please give Olivia something that would lift this virus from her. We were seconds away from going to the emergency room on Tuesday evening when all of the sudden she opened her mouth long enough to let us sneak a bit of popsicle down her throat. None of us slept for 4 nites in a row, and by Wednesday morning I think we all had had enough.

I ended up going into work for a few hours to try and catch up on a few things. My in-laws came over and Olivia seemed very happy to see some new faces since she hadn't been out of the house, or had visitors in a few days. I left for work at 10am, and around 1:30 pm my mother in law called me and said that Olivia's lips were turning blue, she had blotches all over her entire body, and she was shaking very badly!! I raced home and then raced her to the doctor. This would be our 3rd trip to the pediatrician in 3 days. When we got there she immediately did a full exam of Olivia and said that she was turning blue as result of her fever spiking dangerously high. There was nothing to prescribe becuase this was a virus, and virus's dont respond to medicine. I can't believe that noone has invented something to kill a virus! Anyway, the pediatrician then asked me to try a homeopathic remedy called Apis, and she would call us later that evening. She had asked me about 50 questions about Olivia's exact symptoms, and felt confident that this remedy would work. We have a pediatrician who does integrative medicine, as she is both a pediatrician and naturapathic doctor. She isn't quick to prescribe homeopathy, but she was certain that it would help Olivia. We were left with nothing else, and she had assured me that if the remedy wasn't the right one than it would do nothing, but IF it was the right one then Olivia would be back to normal within one to 3 hours. My mother in law had come to the peditrician with me and even she also felt comfortable with what Dr. K had reccommended. This made me feel better because Maria has the gift of discernment, and she was so pleased with Dr K.

I don't know much about homeopathy, but always wanted to learn more about it. Herbal remedies are different, and they take much longer to work, but homeopathy can have almost immediate results if the remedy is right. To make a long story short ,I visited my friends at Natural Oasis Market as they are so knowledgeable. They were quick to point out that I only visit them in a crisis, as the last few times I've been there I've been getting remedy's for my mom and Niki since both of them suffer from migraines and have long drives home. FYI they sell a product called "Migraine Relief" and it works wonders. Anyway they had Apis in stock so we gave it to Olivia right away, and by the time I pulled in the driveway she had no fever, her color was normal, and she wanted to eat and drink right away. She was back to herself...it was as if she was transformed. At 2pm her fever was 104, and at 3:30 it was nowhere to be found.She was playing, laughing, dancing, and babbling which were things that she hadn't done over the last few days.

That nite Olivia slept like a log and was in no distress at all, and has been back to herself all day today. I am so grateful that our doctor practices integrative medicine. She called us at 830pm that same day to see how the remedy worked, and she was so pleased that Olivia was healed. She is never quick to credit one specific thing, but she agreed in our case that homepathy deserved the credit since this virus had its hold on all of us.

We are so grateful to God for working through our doctor, and grateful to our doctor for being trained in both medicines. We have alot to be grateful for today.

Happy Thanksgiving

God, when I have food,

help me to remember the hungry;

When I have work,

help me to remember the jobless;

When I have a home,

help me to remember those who have no home at all;

When I am without pain,

help me to remember those who suffer,

And remembering,

help me to destroy my complacency;

bestir my compassion,

and be concerned enough to help;

By word and deed,

those who cry out for what we take for granted.

Amen."

The Grad School Crew

Today we had our "quarterly" grad school alumni get together. Our get togethers started before any of us had children, and from the pics you can tell that a few more additions have joined our alumni family. We used to have the comfort of sitting around, eating, and talking about anything and everything in our lives. We still get to do that, amidst a giant play date. :) It is always so great to see everyone, catch up, and eat some really great good. Molly we sure missed your taco dip, but Sarah made up for it with the pepporoni bread, and she even made a meat free one for me! Go Sarah!! I'm so glad that we all still make a point to get together...lets keep our tradition going for years to come!

Avery Grace visited us today

How lucky I was to babysit Avery Grace today. She was a gem! Olivia took her nap and I got to play with Avery...lucky me! She curled up in a ball and slept on my shoulder. Then Ethel came over and we got to snap a few pics of the girls in matching outfits. Jenn gave Olivia the outfit for her 1st b-day, and bought Avery the same one. I've been wanting to get a pic of them in it together, and without even talking about it we both had the same thought! :) Only Jenn and I would be able to coordinate matching outfits without discussing it first. Avery is such a beauty and I loved having her here.

Happy Halloween!

A few pics from last year when Livy was 3 weeks old, and one from this year...my how we've grown!

Killer Balloons?

I never thought about the dangers of balloons before, and just happened across this article. Here is the article from www.drgreene.com.

The Dangers of Balloons

That's right. Balloons!

This shocking fact was established by a study conducted by Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh in conjunction with DuPont Institute, and Inchcape Testing Services Risk Analysis and Management. They looked at the shape, consistency, and size of objects that caused choking deaths in 449 children. Findings from this study include: objects that pass the Small Parts Test Fixture (the cylinder with a diameter of 3.17 cm that is used to gauge the safety of small toys) can cause choking. The biggest culprits in this category are spherical objects such as balls and marbles or objects that have spherical parts such as dolls with spherical heads. Far more dangerous, however, are objects that have the ability to conform to the shape of a child's airway, such as balloons and disposable diaper stuffing. Of additional concern is the fact that the number of deaths caused by children inhaling a portion of a balloon are still very high in the 3 - 6 year-old range, which we consider out of danger from choking.

Here are the take home lessons --

• Don't assume a toy is safe for a child to play with just because it passes the SPTF test.
• Don't assume a child is in the safe range just because he or she is over three years old.
• If a whole object or a round portion of an object will fit into your child's mouth, watch him very closely whenever he plays with it.
• Never let a child play with a balloon when you are out of the room.
• Mylar and paper balloons are far safer than latex balloons.
• Stay current on Infant and Child First Aid and CPR -- the life you save may be very dear to you!!!

The teething continues

With my dear husband out of town this week, Olivia's teeth have picked this week to continue being especially stubborn. They haven't quite poked through yet, and she has continued to be "alittle off." Now she has started having diahrea and a diaper rash, and I know thats way more than you wanted to know, but I've changed her 5 times in 3 hours, clothing and all. She is also very irritable, and asking for "Daddeeeee" over and over again. I think shes really confused about Dave's whereabouts, and she goes over to every phone in the house and says "Hi Daddy." He also calls to talk to her and she gets so excited and starts going very crazy for "Dadddeeeeeeee." Tonite she was also asking for "Hannah" over and over again. If she wasn't getting on the phone to talk to Dave then she was getting on to talk to Hannah. She is continuing to chomp on anything and everything she can find to try and get some relief, and of course I have a million teething tricks to try and help. Now that this Diahrea and diaper rash have, started, I just feel just plain awful for her. If she isn't screaming in teething pain then shes fussing about her rash. I finally let her crawl around naked for over 30 minutes just to air herself out. They say air helps, and www.askdrsears.com is always the most helpful. Oh well....I guess I'm settling in to watch "Dancing with the stars" as long as she stays asleep. Oh and did I mention that she isn't sleeping? She goes down until about 10:30, then wakes up screaming in pain. I'm hoping tonite is a good nite. I miss Dave and it looks like lulu does to!

One cool thing is that Olivia says "Uncle" now. She loves her uncle Anthony, and now she screams "Uncle" in excitement as soon as he arrives. She also calls my sister "A Naa Naa" short for Aunt Niki. Shes talking up a storm lately...she even mimicks "I love you" after I say it. Of course she doesnt' know what it means, but its fun to watch her say these things. She has also taken a few steps...she has been taking two at a time. She now wants to walk around the house all the time, which was something she never wanted to do before. I've been hanging on to her babyhood since she hasn't walked yet, but I can feel toddlerhood knocking on our door more each day. She changes overnite, its so amazing. Today she climbed the stairs over and over again....its time to put a stair gate up for our little mountain climber.

Teething Hurts

My poor little peanut is teething worse than ever this week. Nothing seems to be helping these two teeth that are coming in. I finally gave the poor girl a huge raw carrot, and she gnawed on it forever. Poor livy-lou! I only wish that I knew what this pain feels like...I can't imagine it. I've tried everything from homeopathy to conventional, but shes still seems to be in alot of pain. These are the hardest two for her...I can't even imagine how bad the molars are going to be.
Other than the teething pain Olivia is doing very well. We had her 12 month check up this week, and she now weighs 24lbs and is 29 inches tall. Dr. Khaneja reminded Dave and I how far we've all come as a family this passed year. She pointed to some earlier chart notes about colic, her nap strike which lasted 3 months, gas, fussiness, breastfeeding issues, and did I mention her nap strike which lasted 3 months. haha Its amazing that just 6 months ago I had called Dr K in tears becuase Olivia wasn't napping and I thought my breast milk was doing her more harm than good. She had the worse gas on planet earth, and needed to be jostled and jiggled from 5pm until about 10pm. Dave and I were exhausted. She was never calm, and always seemed to have some discomfort. All of the sudden at 7 months I had this completely wonderful baby who took naps and seemed very content. Of course Olivia was happy in her earlier months, but she had colic until 6-7 months. And of course to add insult to injury, the only people that I seemed to know had children who never had colic, and also took long naps, so I thought that I was really screwing up. But guess what...that must be what being a 1st time mom is all about. For my second child I'll probably feel alittle more at ease, and feel a peace in knowing that these things usually work themselves out, and then as the wind blows so comes another new and exciting parenting challenge. :) But as I'm seeing with my dear friend Jenn...new moms need support, so even if you're child was perfect, please don't brag to the new exhausted mother. Just nod your head and offer her symphathy for her sleep deprived state. I used to see it all the time at the baby group. Some poor new mom will be there exhausted and seeking support, and some veteran mom will say, "Well I was so lucky because Stella slept through the nite from the minute she was born, and started walking at 4 months, and never had a food allergy, and yada yada yada." I see every opportunity with a tired new mom as a chance to bond as women since our lives as parents aren't exactly easy. We all can relate to parenting issues on some level.

Having said that, I'm so happy that Dave, me, and Olivia surivived and thrived during her 1st year of life. And as the Navy Seals say, "The only easy day was yesterday!" lol Whats to come over this next year?

The Bathroom....finished.

Here are some pics of the finished bathroom. We still have some painting left, and decorating, but we're getting there. The angles aren't great on these photo's, but I was tired when I took them. :)

Happy 1st Birthday Olivia

Here are some pics from the party. Please send me any that you may have, as I couldn't get 1/2 the shots that I wanted to.

We have beautiful, kind, loving, and caring people all around us who came out to celebrate this monumental event. Milestones are the funnest days to celebrate!!God has blessed our family, and we were happy to have everyone under one roof to wish Olivia Happy 1st, right on her actual birthday! That was special. It takes a village to raise a child, and we're blessed with our village! :) That may sound cheesy but I trully thank God everyday for the people in our lives, and Olivia's life is better because all of you are a part of it. I think Olivia had fun at her party, and felt the love in the room.

Where it all began.....

Some early pics of Olivia...captured here in all of her glory. What a year it has been! We've grown, we've changed, we've matured, we've lost sleep, we've loved, and loved, and loved all in the name of Olivia Nicole. And as any parent knows, that isn't even the start of the story of the first year of parenthood. It rocks your world like no other, and no matter how easy someone makes it look, its the hardest, most rewarding job in the world.