Olivia, 10 months

Forgot to post some 10 month pics, and now she is just week away from 11 months! I almost have a one year old. Wow.

I love my dad

Olivia and dad...buddies forever!

I can do it!!

Olivia, pictured here, trying to put on an old pair of sunglasses she found....and she did it!

The metzendorf

My mom and step-dad have a metzendorf antique camper that they use all summer and fall for various fun filled weekends. They inherited this classic from my step-dads family, and restored it with love. New ones retail for the price of a new, fully loaded car. They had no idea the little gem they inherited, and on every trip several people stop them to remind them of their treasure. While they're camping people bring their digital camera's right over to the campsite and take pictures without asking, my mom has found all this attention alittle annoying since shes very private, but my step-dad loves it! People are in awe of this little camper, and my moms decorating only enhances the look of it. We finally joined them on one of their trips, and we had a very nice time. I took some pictures to share! Olivia really loved the camper, and will be spending lots of future weekends joining Grandma Chop and Grandpa Gary on many excursions. Dave and I have decided to purchase camping gear so we too can join them on some weekends.

Life as we know it

Sometimes you have these moments and events that literally make you stop dead in your tracks, and critically think about life as we know it. The picture shown here was the first minute that I got to spend with Olivia, and it was one of those "stop dead in my tracks moments." As she held onto to my finger there was a million thoughts racing in my head, and all of them were about my future with Olivia, and how I would do anything for this most prescious soul.

Last Friday my bf, Jenn, went into premature labor, and gave birth to her beautiful and amazing daughter, Avery Grace. If I had a picture to share I would proudly post it on this blog, but since I don't, you'll have have to use your imaginations. She is the cutest, sweetest, baby, and will surely steal your heart when you meet her. None of Jenn's story is what she hoped for, her labor was long, tiring, and ended with having to bid farewell to Avery as she was wisked away to the NICU. The part of Jenn's story that is what she hoped for is that she got a beautiful daughter out of the whole journey, but it has been nothing short of a miracle. I watched my dear friend labor, and felt the pain as if I was doing it right along with her. We laughed, cried, and prayed...knowing full well that she was giving birth to a preemie, who would require care in a NICU. But inside my heart and soul I felt a peace that although Avery might be small, she was a fighter and was going to make it just fine. Avery continues to do well, and both Jenn and Keith are just counting the days until she can come home.

As Jenn has been spending her days at the NICU, I can't help but think back to even one short week ago, when we were still dreaming about what Avery might look and act like. Then one morning Jenn's water broke, and we all went into the "labor mode." Life as we know it can change in the blink of an eye, and then we're thrust into a whole other world that we aren't ready or prepared for. But despite the unexpected, expected arrival, Jenn, Keith, and Avery are doing remarkably. With lots of prayers and love they'll all pull through this journey, and someday when Avery is running all over the house leaving no stone unturned, they'll reflect back on all they went through with wonder and amazement.

Changing crib sheets

So every morning lately, or so it seems, Olivia is waking up soaked up to her chin, needing a bath, and her crib needs to be completely sanitized. Changing crib sheets. Ok moms...is this not one of the most annoying, cumbersome things on earth? Are there any short cuts that I'm not aware of? I just finished changing Olivia's sheets, washing her mattress, washing the mattress pad and bumper, then putting it all back together. I just wish there was a better way??? By the time I'm done with this whole process I'm usually cursing out the bumper and the dang matress pad. Now that her crib is at the lowest level this whole process just seems very daunting. I'm ready to throw the bumper out the window, but she loves her bumper and talks to it, traces her little fingers over the hearts, and runs her hands over the flowers. I feel bad to take it out. I've even tried switching diapers but lately shes waking up soaked in both number 1 and 2! Ack. Oh well....all in the acts of love. :)

New Olivia words

So we have a few new words floating around the household. Miss Olivia now says "Cheese" and "keys." She happens to love both of these items, so learning to say them seemed to come easy for her. And yes Dave is still waiting for "Dada" to show up one of these days, but she still isn't interested in saying Dada...she simply calls him "Mama". When Olivia was just a wee baby I used to wonder how on earth she would even learn words....and how would I know how to teach her? This used to baffle me....I just couldn't see how it would all work. Well although we have a long way to go I'm starting to see how this motherhood thing works, and basically I've learned that you end up suprising the heck out of yourself. As we're getting closer to Olivia turning one I'm really starting to take stock and look at this whole year. My only advice to any mom is the same advice that my dad always gave me, and I told Rachel about it earlier today. Whenever I would have a problem in life, or want to learn something, my dad would always tell me to get a book. He would never offer insight until I had researched what I was going through. This has helped me throughout my life becuase I usually don't think about doing something until I've looked into it.

On another blogworthy note, I am now heading back out to the work world, well the part time work world anyway. I landed a job for a local health system, working as an Oncology Social Worker in a Cancer Center, 20 hours a week. I am peaceful about the job, and feel happy about it, although sad that I'll miss 20 hours of Olivia's life every week. I think about my mission as a mom, and hope that in the end this was the right decision for my family. I have a peace about it, but it certainly wasn't made easily. I had a goal of staying home with Olivia for her first year on earth, and I made it to almost 11 months. Just shy of my goal, but not a moment sooner for Dave who has been carrying alot of additional stress, cutting lots of corners, and basically forgoing lots of needed items so we could give Olivia the gift of her mom for almost one year. We've been pretty near broke over these last 10 months, but I feel so happy that I was with Olivia through most of her first year. I left my job last August, knowing that I didn't want to return there as I wasn't happy in the first place. I knew that I wanted to find something better, and had a peace inside that I would find it. I'm hoping this is the something better that I held out for, and financially it will help immensly. Thankfully Olivia will mostly be with her grandparents in my absense, and you can't ask for better caregivers than that, and I'm quite sure this will be a cherished time by both Olivia and my in-laws. Turning her over to their care 20 hours a week also takes a letting go on my part, and I've worked through some of that, and will continue to work through it as we re-adjust.
I will miss my days with olivia, but hopefully I will still have two of them where I won't be working....the schedule is being determined this week. In everything I do I really think about it and how it aligns with my values, ethics, and beliefs...you really wouldn't want to walk in my head sometimes. :) I make descisions with my heart and soul, so this took some tugging, but mostly it has been peace filled. I felt love and peace as I proceeded with this particular position, and also feel gratitude that it aligns with my values and beliefs for the type of work that I'd like to be doing. I used to make descisions based on money, and over the last few years have tweeked that thinking to what would work with my family, and what I could live with, walk with, and be proud of as a woman, wife, and mother. I have to answer to my life like we all do, and I have to answer for my descisions and why. Thankfully this is one that I can peacefully answer to, so wish me luck as I get started!

Olivia helping me open the mail, and her cute little toes captured during mealtime. She always crosses her feet no matter what shes doing, and I think its so funny!

Olivia and Coco

We watched Coco for the passed week, and it was really fun for Olivia to have Coco here. The problem is that Coco went home, and now Olivia asks where Coco is, and does this from the moment she wakes up. She points her finger and says, "Coco." I explain that Coco went home, and that we're going to visist Coco soon, but this doesn't help. She even said Coco's name today when we pulled in the driveway..."Coco Coco Coco!" So tomorrow we go and visit Coco, and hopefully it will help Olivia to see that Coco is back home at Grandma Chop's house. :)

Ethel's Shower

What a fun day! This weekend has certainly not been short of entertainment. Today was Ethel's shower, and besides looking like a beautiful glowing mama, Jenn was very excited about Miss Avery's upcoming arrival. I was trying to hold back the tears as Jenn made her speech to everyone, but you can't hold them all back, especially when so much emotion is involved. Jenn and Keith have been on a journey, and we as their friends and family have been on it with them, so of course we too are emotional about this most joyous event!! We all were sharing the the joy with her, and her shower was very special. She got alot of awesome, generous gifts, and was grateful to all who came in support of her new cause...operation baby Avery. :) Keith was there for alot of the shower, and it was nice to see him hanging with the ladies. :) The coolest thing about Jenn's shower was the quilt squares we decorated for baby Avery, and how everyone participated in making this quilt. I hope you like it Avery!!!

Happy Wedding Heather and Chris

Yesterday we attended the wedding of Heather and Chris. A fun time was had by all. Some of my favorite things were.....

1. The ceremony....the pastor did such a wonderful job, and even re-told the story of how they met. It really brought us in and reminded the why we were all there.

2. Heather is such a kind soul, and an adorable wonderful person. She exudes such amazing energy. The ceremony was filled with tears from the moment people entered the church becuase we all knew that the one person Heather would have wanted there most of all, her mother, had died of breast cancer in 2004. The whole church was tearing up the entire time, and thats something I have never seen at a wedding. Everyone was filled with emotion.

3. The reception was amazing! Everyone there was very involved and participated in things that brought people together. Everyone participated in some table games that the DJ did, and then we all got to light sparklers to welcome the bridal party. It felt like a whole community was banding together to bless this couple on thier beautiful day.

Dave and I had a really nice time, and enjoyed ourselves immensly. It was good to be out, dancing, singing, and just enjoying the company of friends. We knew alot of people there, and that made it even more fun.

Congratulations Chris and Heather!!

The greeter

This is the little face that greets Dave everyday when he comes home from work. I finally stepped outside to see what the view looked like from that vantage point, and I found nothing but cuteness. :)

The Zoo

Last week Olivia and I joined the "Holistic Moms" and went to the zoo. It was Olivia's second time there and she loved it! The weather was beautiful and made for a nice day to be outside. Several members showed up and it was fun to watch all of the kids react to the animals.

Meet the Grandma's

Olivia is very lucky to have several loving grandma's in her life. The first picture is Dave's moms, Olivia's "Abuela." Daves mom is from Bueno's Aires, Argentina. Then my mom, Grandma "Chop" who spends many many hours driving from Syracuse to Rochester to spend anytime she can with Olivia. Olivia also has two great grandma's....Great Grandma "Z" whom sings her very funny songs, and Great Grandma "Nan" who knits Olivia many wonderful blankets, hats, and clothing.

Bed Head style

Olivia first thing in the morning, rockin the Bed Head!!

The cry

I went shopping at Party City to start planning Olivia's first birthday, which is only 2 short months away. My mom, me, and Olivia ventured off to plan this fun day. We headed straight for the kids birthday aisle's, which is a place that I've never been before. I wandered down the aisle until I found one that Olivia liked, and we began deciding on what items to purchase. The pattern that we liked was 50% off so we decided to take advantage of the sale. Then all of the sudden I was in tears....they erupted like a volcano in the middle of party city. My daughter was turning one, and this was her first big milestone, and the first birthday party that I would ever plan for her. First I pictured the future, and Olivia walking around the store with me begging for a "Dora the Explorer" or "Wiggles" birthday. Then I pictured how my mom and I will plan all of her parties for years to come, and one day she'll turn 18, and I'll cry just as hard as I'm crying now. I just felt overcome with emotion....like I wanted to hang onto Olivia in that moment and never lose her babyhood. I even put my hand on the top of her head and told my mom that I just want to stop her growth...even for just a second. My mom was trying to help by saying, "These years go so fast" which of course made it worse.

I quickly composed myself, but this first birthday just means so much. First it means that Olivia and I survived her first year of life, and my first year of motherhood...and we even lived to tell about it. :) I've never met a more amazing person then her, and she has brought me closer to life than I'd ever thought I'd get to it. Olivia humbled me and made me a better person, and becuase of her I am the person I am today. Olivia has made Dave and I so happy that we get choked up just mentioning her sweetness, and talk about her long after shes fallen asleep. Sometimes we even watch video's of her after shes gone to bed, and we just love every minute of them. It scares me how much we love her, because I know one day she'll grow, and we'll grow with her, but I can't ever get this time back.

So I cried in the party store, and then calmed down to have fun picking everything out. My mom felt bad for me because I cried and offered to buy all of the paper goods for the party, which was funny because it made me feel like a kid again, only this time I knew how lucky I was to have my mom buying me something. When I was a kid I didn't appreciate it as much, now I'm over the top grateful!

Vanity thy name is Olivia

I caught Olivia enjoying her view in the mirror...it made for a cute picture. The fact that she was holding it up to really get a good look at herself cracked me up.

Happy Shower Allison

Today was my friend Allison's bridal shower, and what a nice gathering it turned out to be! It was fun to see Allison embrace all of the people who came out to support her, and she seemed to even enjoy herself. Aghast...has Allison actually enjoyed a pre-wedding event? For those who know her, you know how stressful the plans have been, but from the pics you can tell shes really a glowing bride to be. Jennifer, Kristy, and myself are part of the wedding party. We're thrilled to be sharing this day with Allison and Tim. I have to say, I really enjoyed when Tim showed up...it was great to see the two of them look so happy to see each other! :) Now for the next order of business....the bachelorette party!! Any ideas?? Oh and please notice the beautiful floral arrangement that Jenn did....she really needs to go into business. Please encourage this venture. I also need to mention the amazing job Kristy did on both the invites and the favors. You girls are creative genius's and I only wish I had 1/4 of your talent.
Happy upcoming wedding little K!!

Bye Bye Moby

Moby has been my betta fish for the passed two years. I rescued him from a dorm room in Cortland College, where my sisters roommate was keeping him in a small bud vase. It was a sad sight. So I asked if I could have him and they agreed. He's been living with us ever since. After Olivia's birth I just neglected Moby, and wasn't keeping up with playing with him or cleaning his tank. I was just feeling anxious that I wasn't properly caring for him, so I decided to find a good home for him. I always had this vision, even two years ago when I met him, that he needed more room to roam, and I always hoped that he could be with other fish. Well God was on Moby's side becuase I posted Moby on Craigslist, and an adorable mother of 3, betta enthusiast emailed me right away. She has a 52 gallon tank with all kinds of fish and swore to me that Moby would do well. So one week ago I packed him up and gave the poor little guy away. I was a wreck over it and worried that he would die. But Karlie the new owner has done a great job of keeping in touch with me, and she says Moby LOVES his new huge heaven of a tank. She said his muscle tone is developing and he swims in and out of all the natural plants that she has. He has adjusted to the other fish as well. Wow. Thats cool and I feel better!! Moby I definelty miss you, but you're clearly in a much better place. :)

For more info on Betta's check out www.bettatalk.com

Strong Museum

Took Livy on her first museum expierience today, at 9 months old. My mother rang my cell while we were there and practically laughed out loud when I told her where we were. She didn't hear the part about us being at a "Childrens Museum." So anywhoo, the museum proved to be a nice family expierience for all of us. First we had wanted to go around 3pm, but then Livy decided to nap until 6pm....not a good thing at all, but I let it go becuase i was getting my house cleaned. So she woke up crying and alittle grouchy until I said, "Wanna go bye-bye." Of course she loves going "bye-bye" so off we went at 6:30. The place closed at 8pm, but it worked nicely because it was a short while, she had a fun time seeing some different things, and it wasn't overcrowded. They had several areas where she could crawl around and explore, and lots of characters came up to her and she didn't get scared. Olivia seems to enjoy new adventures, and she crinkly nose smiled at all of the characters that came over to greet her. The day ended with a parade led by all these different characters, and all of the guests got to join in. It was very cute and the staff gave us props to wave around. The parade was quite unexpected and even had a band leading the way. So we joined in and walked with other parents and I realized that I'll be doing things like this for the next 15 years at least. Very precious. The only glitch was that my digital camera battery wasn't charged so we only got to capture one picture. Bummer!! Then a trip to the gift shop caused me to wish I had an extra 100 bucks lying around because I saw the cutest toy on earth for Olivia. It was a rocking butterfly, so colorful and amazing that I wanted to scoop it up right there and bring it home for her. But of course I couldn't do that, but man I wished that I could have! When it comes to toys I am such a kid at heart....I love toys, probably more than Olivia does. But Dave loved this rocking chair perhaps even more than I did, which never happens, as he usually trys to talk me out of things. I even looked it up online and it costs the same on ebay as it does in the museum giftshop. Oh well....perhaps for her upcoming birthday in 3 months! :)